Talk:Ateyyat El Abnoudy

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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

Latest comment: 2 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion

This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Ravens NN, Deloros.ford94. Peer reviewers: Bloopsmoop, Lesbianimages.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 17:38, 17 January 2022 (UTC)Reply

Peer Review

Latest comment: 6 years ago3 comments3 people in discussion

1. This article is very good and your choice of filmmaker is really interesting. I like the way you organized the article and feel that it is very clear to the reader. Your information is very unbiased and factual. Other than some grammatical errors, there were no major mistakes in the article. Your sources appear to be unbiased and reliable. There was very little for me to edit in your article.

2. Your choice of filmmaker was very interesting, and you found some good sources. However, I do think that you may need to add more citations, and I think the second paragraph of your introduction should be rephrased. Additionally, there were some grammatical errors, some of which I fixed. Overall though, a good article! lesbianimagesLesbianimages (talk) 15:52, 31 October 2018 (UTC)Reply

3. This article is great and the layout is very organized with information. I especially think the chart under 'Filmography' is great as it provides a visual timeline in which your filmmaker created these films. Everything seems great, except for a misspelling of one of the films. In paragraph two, you mention her film 'Horse of Mud' and in paragraph two under Career, you mention 'House of Mud'. I changed the latter back to 'Horse of Mud'. All in all, great article! Bloopsmoop (talk) 20:39, 31 October 2018 (UTC)Reply

-- You have a really good base structure for your article and a very interesting filmmaker. I just edited a little bit of the punctuation and reworded a few sentences to have less repetitive wording throughout your article and to flow a bit better overall.

"...living circumstances of those people who live in the Arab world..." saying this is a bit of a generalization, is there a way to maybe reword this? such as: "the unfortunate living situations of impoverished Arabs", etc.

"These are just to name a few of her accomplishments in the film industry" could be considered "promotional" or at the very least a throw-away sentence, maybe list another accomplishment instead? (Very optional suggestion)

I changed: "decorated with many awards" to "recipient of many awards" to sound a smidge less promotional/grandiose.

All in all, you have a very solid article, it didn't require much in terms of editing and you appear to have some good sources. Good job!-- Figgy puddin (talk) 06:12, 1 November 2018 (UTC)Reply

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